Prized commercial on DVD found in closet

In 2004, during The Dark Times, my super friend Nathan was shortly enamored with the show Smallville. I thought it was cool that a sexy bald man was given a starring role on a teen drama. Nathan recorded an episode for me since I didn’t have a TV or cable and mostly just watched The West Wing on DVD and wondered why I was so unemployable. Long story short: I really liked a Burger King spot that appeared during the first commercial break.

Allow me:

The scene: a typical office at lunch time. A group of men in shirts and ties are sitting or standing while one man holds a Burger King bag. The man calls the name of each sandwich and throws it to the person who acknowledges it as their order.

Man with the bag: TenderCrisp, extra mayo.

Man 1: Yep. (Catches sandwich and then pauses. He is immediately quiet and introspective.) That is me: tender on the inside, crispy on the outside.

Man 2: You’re not tender. You’re always yelling.

Man 1: That’s the crispy side.

Man 2: (slightly confused) So where’s the tender?

Man 1: (Points to heart) Locked up in here, away from you guys.

(Scoffing laughter from everyone)

Man 1: (Somewhat manically) Is that funny? (Holds thumb and forefinger very closely.) Because I’m this close to going crispy.

Voice over: It’s here: the new TenderCrisp. All white meat chicken wrapped in crispity goodness.

[also]

Wow. This commercial addresses so much about the battle between the external and the internal presentation, protecting your feelings and emotions, coming to terms with a popular, if somewhat false, group opinion and eating chicken. Although I don’t like that the sandwich contains extra mayo, I can relate to this man played by the man who would later come into my house every week and say funny things about stuff on tv. I believe that he is struggling every day to do what is right.

Moment of self-realization: “That is me.”

You’re not tender. You’re always yelling.

Locked up in here, away from you guys.

I’m this close to going crispy.