I inherited the green beauty through the generosity of my brother Scott. I got a good three years out of it before being told that the car was good for local use only and since it sounded more like a creaking boat than a car¹, it is going to be donated to charity that advertises in my neighborhood like nobody’s business (but not my favorite charity), so we are helping the children.

There was some interest on Craigslist, where the add clearly stated: 1995 Saturn Wagon 96k miles – $1000, so it will be a relief to not spend an evening return emails that ask: “Mileage on the car is?/Is there anything wrong with the wagon?” or heeding the reasonable request of my wife: “You should glue the interior light when you get home. I left the Gorilla glue near the key tray.”

And then there was the all caps people and the homeless people. Not that those two groups of people shouldn’t have cars…they just shouldn’t expect that I would want them to come to my house.

So, tomorrow at 1pm, the green beast, who allowed us to bring home hundreds of cans of beans² from Safeway, will go to the big car towing charity in the sky where it can race the racetrack of endless velocity. Farewell friend.

Another year nearly behind us, a Twilight Zone marathon in front of us, and the last of the Starbucks holiday cups.